Friday, July 13, 2007

Parshat Matot-Masei 5767: Endings

Numbers 30:2-36:13

This week, ironically, my life parallels Torah. We end the book of Numbers, and in effect the journey that is the exodus from Egypt. Deuteronomy begins next week, with Moses’ review of all the mitzvot. With the exception of the death of Moses, the narrative is over in Torah.
So too with my life. A part of my life is over, one that went on for what seemed like 40 years, though it was only five. Thursday afternoon I finished the last class for my Masters in Jewish Studies degree. I only have one more take-home final exam (which I’ll talk about in the upcoming weeks). When I turn that in, I have finished grad school.
I felt weird leaving the building. I procrastinated leaving, spending a lot of time schmoozing with other students before walking out the door. When I did walk out the door, I cried. Nothing will ever be same now. I did a lot of thinking and fretting this week. What now? Will all of this work really come to a new career in Jewish education, books and speaking engagements as I’ve so wanted for years? I’ve been hiding behind books and papers for so long. Can I even live a real life like other people?
I think similar questions were brewing in the minds of the Israelites in this week’s portion. Not like those questions weren’t there before. The reason why it’s been a forty year trek for them was how they answered those questions 38 years earlier. Back in Shelach Lecha, when the spies came back from exploring the land, the majority gave a negative report. Of that night we read:
1. And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night. 2. And all the people of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron; and the whole congregation said to them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness! 3. And why has the Lord brought us to this land, to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? were it not better for us to return into Egypt? [Num 14:1-3]
There is Midrash that tells us more about that night. God was certainly not pleased with that crying over nothing, and says “I’ll give you something to cry about.” [Genesis Rabbah 16:20] We are then told the date those people cried: The 9th of Av. For their tears and fear not only was there 40 years in the wilderness but two temples destroyed, the expulsion from Spain, and the first trainload of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto left for Treblinka. The up coming 9th of Av is a sad day in Jewish history.
While the rabbis could never have imagined the Shoah, I think the Rabbis of the Midrash are making a very important point here. You can only go forward. Whining and wanting to keeps things as they are just doesn’t work. It actually is harmful not only in the short term, but the long term as well.
With that in mind, it is a rather interesting request Moses gets from The Tribes of Reuben and Gad.
4. The country which the Lord struck before the congregation of Israel, is a land for cattle, and your servants have cattle; 5. Therefore, said they, if we have found grace in your sight, let this land be given to your servants for a possession, and bring us not over the Jordan.[Numbers 32:4-5]
Moses is not a happy camper when he hears this. He reminds Gad and Reuben of the Spies 38 years earlier and the mess that caused. While they don’t say it, it’s clear in Moses’ mind what going on. These are people afraid to go on, to make the final leap across the river. So Gad and Reuben propose a solution.
16. And they came near to him, and said, We will build sheepfolds here for our cattle, and cities for our little ones; 17. But we ourselves will go ready armed before the people of Israel, until we have brought them to their place; and our little ones shall live in the fortified cities because of the inhabitants of the land. 18. We will not return to our houses, until the people of Israel have inherited every man his inheritance. 19. For we will not inherit with them on the other side of the Jordan, and beyond, because our inheritance has fallen to us on this east side of the Jordan.
They will be the shock troops in taking the land, “before” really meaning the ones on the front lines. They will do the scariest most dangerous work, and in return have the land on the other side. To that proposal, if they face their fear they get to stay behind, Moses agrees. So half a third tribe, Manasseh, along with Gad and Reuben settle on the west side.

The last chapter of Numbers brings up that third tribe who like Gad and Reuben don’t want things to change. And the chief fathers of the families of the sons of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of the sons of Joseph, came near, and spoke before Moses, and before the princes, the chief fathers of the people of Israel;
2. And they said, The Lord commanded my lord to give the land for an inheritance by lot to the people of Israel; and my lord was commanded by the Lord to give the inheritance of Zelophehad our brother to his daughters. 3. And if they are married to any of the sons of the other tribes of the people of Israel, then shall their inheritance be taken from the inheritance of our fathers, and shall be given to the inheritance of the tribe where they are received; so shall it be taken from the lot of our inheritance. 4. And when the jubilee of the people of Israel shall be, then shall their inheritance be given to the inheritance of the tribe where they are received; so shall their inheritance be taken away from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers.
The issue of the daughters of Zelophehad is raised again. The males of their families are not happy at losing land to other tribes through marriage, and want the rule overturned. They want things to stay the same that the guys get everything. Yet here they don’t get to go back either, there is compromise. There is an issue, no doubt. But the result is there will be a limitation to the original ruling.
8. And every daughter, who possesses an inheritance in any tribe of the people of Israel, shall be the wife to one of the family of the tribe of her father, that the people of Israel may enjoy every man the inheritance of his fathers.
In one sense something new occurs here, though still from God. The beginnings of the Oral law and the cycle of Mitzvah, objection, modification followed by more objections and modifications begins. As my last class was Talmud, it is a pattern near and dear to my heart right now as it is the heart of Talmud. Yet at the same time we have a tribe who has their foot in two phases of life at the same time. One can compare it to a balding old man with grey hair who keeps wearing a red toupee.
Biblical history tells us the result of such thinking. Neither Gad, Rueben nor Manasseh are around any more. When one faces a new phase of life, the best thing to do is face it fully. Many at Spertus go straight from the Master’s program into the Doctoral program, we even joke about the seamless transition. Many have asked me when I was going to start on my doctorate. Knowing these people well, I know they are not like Gad or Manasseh, but instead like the rabbis, deeply committed to learning. Most have a life outside of Spertus, and they come to Chicago twice a year from a deep love of Jewish learning. As much as I’m tempted, I can’t be one of those who continue school – I need that seam. I have been Gad and Reuben, hiding from what is on the other side of the Jordan. I’ve never settled on the other side, the side of fully living. As much as I want what’s on the other side, I run away from it back to my books at the first possibility.
I’m finding it very scary crossing that river, having a life like anyone else. Yet, I will cross into the scary parts. I think at various stages in each of our lives we have felt the same. There are times where we hit a barrier between phases and are afraid to cross. But crossing is inevitable. Not crossing may even be harmful.
Even though the narrative of Torah virtually ends this week, it is not the end of the narrative. There’s lot to do on the other side, and Joshua, the Judges, Samuel, David, Solomon and the prophets will have quite the journey ahead of them. It’s just a different journey, a new road, and way of journeying. In our own lives, it’s good to remember that.

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