This week, we have the portion of the spies. God authorizes a recon mission into the land of Canaan, and twelve spies, including Joshua and Caleb enter the land of Canaan. When they return, they bring back amazing things, like enormous grapes, and seemingly bad news. Ten of the spies report that the people of the land are unconquerable.
28. Nevertheless the people, who live in the land, are strong, and the cities are walled, and very great; and moreover we saw the children of Anak there. 29. The Amalekites live in the land of the Negev; and the Hittites, and the Jebusites, and the Amorites, live in the mountains; and the Canaanites live by the sea, and by the side of the Jordan.(13:28-29)
Two spies, Joshua of the tribe of Benjamin and Caleb of Judah, report the opposite: that because God is on their side, this will be a piece of cake. But they are shouted down by the ten spies.
31. But the men who went up with him said, We are not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we. 32. And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had spied to the people of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to spy, is a land that eats up its inhabitants; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature. 33. And there we saw the Nefilim, the sons of Anak, who come from the Nefilim; and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so were we in their sight.
All of Israel spends the night crying in their tents. In the morning Joshua, Caleb and Moses almost get killed when a riot breaks out. God intercedes, and condemns the Israelites to wander in the desert for forty years, one year for every day the spies were in Canaan. After this incident, a man goes and gathers sticks on the Sabbath, and is punished by being stoned to death. Finally, God gives the mitzvot of tzitzit.
As I’ve mentioned before, Shelach Lecha is my Bar Mitzvah portion, so like many, it has a lot of nostalgic value when I get to this week’s portion. And I’ve also thought a lot about that given a little irony about the day after Shelach is recited in most Synagogues. I once again will be in front of a lot of people talking Torah, presenting for the first time at a national conference of public health officials. To add to the excitement, I’ve not only got a live audience, but the cameras will be rolling for a production of a distance learning DVD. As I get the last things done and ready for that conference, I’m getting nervous, but even with all that, not about my speech.
It’s the parties afterwards that scare the willies out of me.
This week’s portion is one of the best to note how fear grips us. The spies go into the land and ten bring back a negative report, which they keep embellishing. First there is the Anakites and Amalekites. Then it’s the Hittites, and the Jebusites, and the Amorites. But that’s not anything new. In Exodus 23:23 and 23:28, at Sinai, God makes clear theses people are there and these people are going to get seriously trounced. The Amalekites, remember, attack Israel not long after they cross the Sea leaving Egypt (Exodus 17:8-14). A lot of the people might have bad memories of that incident, except the guy who was drafted to lead the troops in battles against them. As for the overly tall Anakites, this guy will pretty much wipe the floor with them, leaving their only survivors in the cities of the Philistines. But to all of this, the ten spies then begin to exaggerate and say that they looked like grasshoppers to the Anakites and thus Israel could be easily stomped. This guy and his buddy, Caleb, reply to all this:
7. And they spoke to all the company of the people of Israel, saying, The land, which we passed through to spy, is an exceedingly good land. 8. If the Lord delights in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it to us; a land which flows with milk and honey. 9. Only do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land; for they are bread for us; their defense is departed from them, and the Lord is with us; fear them not.
In short, God is on our side, not theirs and we’re going to eat them alive, so stop being afraid of them. Only if you are afraid will we not be able to pull this off. This guy of course is Joshua.
And this sets up the contrast I have between public and private speaking. In front of twenty or two hundred I have no fear of speaking in public on just about anything. I just get up there and do my stuff. Even if the room is SRO, this is no problem. I have no fear here, even though this is one of the most common fears anywhere around the world. But on the other hand, try to get me to approach any one particular person, even more so an attractive woman, and then I am a bowl of jelly. They’ll seem miles taller than me and I’m not just a grasshopper but an ant. I have a serious case of shyness.
But using the story of the twelve spies, we can begin to see what’s true here. While Caleb’s history is not clear prior to the spies’ story, Joshua is easy to see. He’s already engaged the Amalekites and won, though clearly with God’s help. He’s the only non-Levite to get really close to the divine presence, the only person hanging out on Sinai while Moses is at the summit. He has something that keeps him objective and positive of their chances -- experience. The other ten spies seem not to have this experience, and thus become so afraid they cannot do their jobs accurately, In fact they exaggerate the problem.
To show one exaggeration, we can figure out how tall the Anakites were. In Joshua 11:21-22 we read
21. And at that time came Joshua, and cut off the Anakim from the mountains, from Hebron, from Debir, from Anab, and from all the mountains of Judah, and from all the mountains of Israel; Joshua destroyed them completely with their cities. 22. There was none of the Anakim left in the land of the people of Israel; only in Gaza, in Gath, and in Ashdod, there remained.
After Joshua's rout, the Anakites were only in the cities of the Philistines, notably Gath. Yet in I Samuel 17:4 we read
4. And there came out a champion from the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span.
It is likely that Goliath is a descendant of the Anakite remnant. Goliath according to the text stood somewhere at about the height of a grizzly bear on its hind legs, ten to twelve feet. The Israelites might have been smaller, but not like a grasshopper. And it is interesting to note what David says when Saul questions his ability to kill Goliath - “I’ve killed bears and lions, this loser’s going down just like them ” (I Samuel 17:34-36) David calls on experience to overcome the fear everyone else seems to have.
Was David or Joshua scared at their first time against a bear or the Amalekites? Probably. Yet, it was their job to protect those around them, be they the stragglers in the congregation or defenseless sheep. Thus they swallowed their fear somehow and did the job. After that, fear vanished, to be replaced with confidence.
And yet, how do we get that first experience? That’s the really hard one. In the case of my shyness since I’m too scared to try, I never get that experience. There is, unfortunately only one way to do that and that is to dive in. David and Joshua had their initial situation thrust upon them, but in most cases that not the case. Here again the other failure of the ten spies comes into the picture.
40. And they rose up early in the morning, and went up to the top of the mountain, saying, Behold, we are here, and will go up to the place of which the Lord has spoken; for we have sinned. 41. And Moses said, Why do you now transgress the commandment of the Lord? But it shall not succeed. 42. Do not go up, for the Lord is not among you; so that you should not be struck before your enemies. 43. For the Amalekites and the Canaanites are there before you, and you shall fall by the sword; because you are turned away from the Lord, therefore the Lord will not be with you. 44. But they presumed to go up to the hill top; nevertheless the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and Moses, departed not from the camp. 45. Then the Amalekites came down, and the Canaanites who lived in that hill, and defeated them, and pursued them, even to Hormah. (Numbers 14)
They do go into the land, and died trying to take it, since God is not with them. God was with Joshua when he fought Amalek in Exodus, and to make sure it was, Aaron and Hur kept Moses’ hands propped up. Back in Exodus they were told several times they could trounce these people, and they didn’t listen. Here in Numbers they are told because they didn’t believe God, they are forced to wander in the desert forty years until they are all dead. So they once again don’t believe God and go in too early. God was not with them because they were not with God -- and thus they were defeated.
But had they believed in what God said, and believed it truthful in the first place, they would have been successful. It’s that faith that David had when he wrote in Psalm 23:4
4. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no harm; for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me.
The Valley of Death is much worse than getting a rejection from some cute woman, yet both fade in believing God is with me in everything I do. The more I remember God is with me, the more I remember that in every human being I am looking at is the face of God, each is Part of Echad. The more I remember that, the less the fear. And with those experiences I gain confidence to have more positive experiences, and minimize the negatives ones, like receiving rejections or rude comments, making those who once made me look like grasshoppers into grasshoppers in my eyes. In the end, I get that experience where the fear fades completely.
I’m going to this conference not as much as my first presentation at a national conference, but to engage in conversation with colleagues I’ve been too scared to talk to in the past. I will begin to beat my shyness there, once and for all. For all of us who have a hard time talking to others, May my example bring hope and advice to get out there and connect.
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