In this week's portion, we have a lot going on. We have the kindling of the Menorah of the temple, the consecration of the Levites, a repetition of Passover and the 2nd Passover rules and a more detailed description of the navigation methods of the Israelites first mentioned in Exodus 40:36-38. Then God instructs Moses how to play the trumpet, and the people move out from Sinai. Moses' father in law leaves for his home, and the people begin to complain about the food service. In response to Moses complaining he can't do it all, God convenes the Sanhedrin of seventy elders to help Moses delegate. For the people who complain about the foodservice, God sends massive flocks of Quail near the camp. Those who eat it end up dying of food poisoning. Even Miriam and Aaron get cranky with their little brother, leading to a chewing out of Aaron and Miriam by God, Miriam's bout of leprosy and Moses' famous Healing prayer El na R'fa na la.
The portion starts with
2. Speak to Aaron, and say to him, When you light the lamps, the seven lamps shall give light in front of the lampstand. 3. And Aaron did so; he lighted its lamps to give light in front of the lampstand, as the Lord commanded Moses. 4. And the workmanship of the lampstand was of hammered gold, its shaft, its flowers, was hammered work; according to the pattern which the Lord had shown Moses, so he made the lampstand.
We have heard about the lampstand, the seven branched Menorah of the Mishkan before, in Exodus 25:31-40, where it‘s construction is described in more detail. We also read in Leviticus 24:2-4 about the light of the lamps
2. Command the people of Israel, that they bring to you pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamps to burn continually. 3. Inside the veil of the Testimony, in the Tent of Meeting, shall Aaron order it from the evening to the morning before the Lord continually; it shall be a statute forever in your generations. 4. He shall order the lamps upon the pure lampstands before the Lord continually.
The Mishkan and the later Temple can be used as a metaphor for our body and soul. As I mentioned last week, Shammai in Avot 1:15 mentions that we are to receive everyone with a bright countenance. There is a part of our soul with illuminates our selves, and when bright enough illuminates far beyond it and to other people. Indded the rabbi note that the windows in the temple were constructed not to bring light in, but to send it out. As Leviticus notes, this lamp within our selves should be continually burning. This is our internal menorah, which brightens everything around us.
Later in the portion, when Moses complains he can’t do everything by himself, we read
16. And the Lord said to Moses, Gather to me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people, and officers over them; and bring them to the Tent of Meeting, that they may stand there with you.17. And I will come down and talk with you there; and I will take of the spirit which is upon you, and will put it upon them; and they shall carry the burden of the people with you, that you carry it not yourself alone.
The rabbis wonder about taking some of the spirit of Moses. (Numbers Rabbah XV:19)
If you ask: Seeing that the elders derived their prophetic spirit from that of Moses, was the latter deprived of any of his prophetic spirit? The answer is in the negative. To what may this be compared? To a candle that was burning and at which many candles were kindled, yet the light of the flame of the first did not diminish. So it was here also. Moses lost nothing of his own; for it says, And there hath not arisen a prophet since in Israel like unto Moses (Deut. XXXIV, 10).
In the language of light and lamps, the light within us does not diminish when we light the lamps of others. When we give our inner light to them our friendliness our warmth and joy, we do not lose - we gain more light in the world as a whole.
Yet, this week another question has been plaguing me, why would your ner tamid go out? Why would the inner light of joy and holiness fade and sputter into darkness? You see, mine did this week. Not long before last Shabbat, it just snuffed out, to be replaced with deep darkness. With some serious thinking and work, I got it started again, though it’s still a bit dim. And after a week of thinking about it, I finally figured out why all this happened, and it required me to look at the last story of this week’s portion in a way I hadn’t before.
Numbers 12 begins
1. And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Kushite woman whom he had married; for he had married a Kushite woman. 2. And they said, Has the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses? has he not spoken also by us? And the Lord heard it. 3. And the man Moses was very humble, more than any other men which were upon the face of the earth.
The Midrash says that Moses had not had his required marital relations with his wife, and Miriam was angry over that. Yet the second verse mentions what becomes the real subject of God’s rebuke to all this, Moses ability to prophecy, the same ability given to the seventy elders.
At the core of this is Moses' reason for celibacy. In Shabbat 87a and in several other places, we read that this was Moses’ decision, not God's commandment. Using a fortiori reasoning, know in Hebrew as qal v’khomer, he deduced that if the Israelites needed to abstain from sexual relations prior to their one-day exposure to God at Sinai, then he, as the one who met with God daily, needed to abstain every day. And, according to the Rabbis, God agreed with Moses’ deduction. Miriam, a prophet herself, thought this was wrong. He was abstaining from things that other prophets were not, and that all of Israel were required to do, according to Exodus 21:10. To Miriam, Moses was ignoring his wife and making her suffer so he could be a holy man though every other holy man was required have sex with their spouse.
Of course in this debate, God sides with Moses and even punishes Miriam with Tzarat. God speaks only to Moses mouth to mouth, while all others see in visions and dreams (Numbers 12:6-8). His kind of prophecy is different, and requires different rules. But Moses remains silent until he pleads for Miriam’s healing. Instead giving a response to Miriam’s charges, the text merely states he was the most humble man on earth, implying his humility prohibited him from speaking. Yet, I believe something else is true of this humility. In his humility, he also saw the merit of Miriam’s argument and the anguish of his wife, thus he was unable to defend his actions.
Moses, in seeing that both are correct, becomes torn between two opposing views, with no room for compromise while deeply sympathetic to both. That’s a lot of stress for anyone. If one were to place too much stress from two opposing forces pulling on a lamp, it will crack, tear or bend out of shape enough for its precious fuel to leak away. The lamp sputters and may even go out from the lack of fuel. Moses’ lamp sputtered to the point he is speechless.
So, like Moses here is where my lamp sputtered and dimmed, almost going out. I was torn, and did not know how to find a way to stop the forces tearing me up inside. On a very personal level, and not for the first time, I ran into a crisis about the life choices I have made, including some recent events which have made me consider some of problems of the life path I have chosen, I’ve had to deal directly with how some in the Jewish community disapprove of my decisions, accusing me of murdering the Jewish people because of those choices.
Without fuel there is less energy, and it is in this portion we see the shortest prayer in all Torah, El Na Rafa Na La. Please God heal her. Of course Moses, still weak and torn, is praying for his sister Miriam, but as the words Menorah is also feminine, it could be on another level asking for healing to the inner light of the soul as well.
Of course Miriam healed, Moses’ light did not go out, and I too will heal. I am no Moses, no one is and thus no had to face the hard decisions Moses did of spirituality, community, and family. Yet this story makes me think deeply about the choices we all have to make in life, for ourselves, for our religious community, and for those who are close to us.
May God make your light continue to shine on you, and may it be bright enough to shine on all those around you.
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