Reeh 5766 - too tired to think of a title

Parshat Re’eh 5766 Deuteronomy 11:26-16:17

This week we read:

1. These are the statutes and judgments, which you shall take care to do, in the land, which the Lord God of your fathers gives you to possess all the days that you live upon the earth.2. You shall completely destroy all the places, where the nations which you shall possess served their gods, upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree; 3. And you shall overthrow their altars, and break their pillars, and burn their Asherim with fire; and you shall cut down the carved images of their gods, and destroy their names out of that place. [Deuteronomy12:1-3]

If there is a weekly portion which tends to gave me pause to think about the way I live my life, it tends to be this one. For some reason, this week in late summer gives me pause to take stock, and it isn’t even Elul yet. For the last few drashes it was the kosher dietary laws which are also summarized in this section, which gave me some pause. Two years ago, I wrote an odd piece about kosher which upset some. It was a meditation of absurdity of how we all observe kosher, as I was very oddly picking the bacon out of my clam chowder, observing one rule, while breaking two.

This year, since I don’t eat shellfish anymore, that is no longer an issue. But it is the passage above which gives me pause to think. This has been a very busy summer for me, indeed it was too busy. For the last six weeks, I’ve been up a 4:30 in the mooring and don’t hit the pillow till 11:00 that night. A large client load, one week long grad school seminar, one month long on-line self-improvement course, giving three lectures at professional societies, and teaching several days of 8-hour straight classes have left me exhausted. Two weeks ago, I realized how much. While changing clothes to go out to a concert I apparently passed out from exhaustion. All I know was it was 5:30 when I walked in the apartment and 8:30 and stormy out side when I woke up. While the concert would be cancelled any way, it was a bit of a wake up call, so to speak how far things had gotten.

Like any person in this situation, I’m cutting back, of course. But it made me think of an Idol that Moses never mentions in his speech, one I have been far too much at its altar: Microsoft Outlook. Even as I write this I get distracted into checking my schedules and editing contact information. Its information is on my PDA and my call phone which through the miracle of Bluetooth and USB connections is all synchronized so that I may carry around my portable battery powered idols. Yet, in the idolatry of the Canaanites and other people of the near East the Idol was like a house for the god who would then inhabit it, much like the phone, laptop, and PDA hardware is a house for the data contained within it. We don not worship the PDA, but the data inside, the schedules.

It amazes me how much I do take my schedule as some form of worship, feeding these gods and sitting at their altar chugging their holy drink, coffee, while trying to fit in two more things into that schedule for the week, and taking away two more hours of sleep to do so. Our portion begins with stating there is a blessing and a curse. Being organized is a blessing, yet being a slave to the schedule and the task list is a curse. Yet much of it is just to help me make a living. Without it, I would be too poor to afford the laptop, cell phone or internet connection, let alone the food I’m too busy to eat or the bed I spend too few hours in.

It also brings up, however, the one thing that is not scheduled enough on there. We read:
4. You shall not do so to the Lord your God. 5. But to the place which the Lord your God shall choose out of all your tribes to put his name there, to his habitation shall you seek, and there you shall come; [Deuteronomy12:4-5]

Prior to the destruction of the temple, we are to gather at the place of the Holy Ark, the Mishkan or temple, and worship there. As the biblical record shows, even holy people did not follow that literally, Elijah and Gideon used altars elsewhere to worship. Today we gather together in our synagogues, and we also use time as a major gathering point, which even the text points at. What is missing on that schedule is of course the word “synagogue” or more precisely, “Erev Shabbat Services.” I have missed services all summer, and there been many reasons.

One is a change of, of all things, schedule. At my current synagogue, they changed the time of services for the summer to 6:30. The idea was to give families time to eat after services as families. Of course that excludes singles in its thinking. If I went to services at 6:30, then I would not be able to eat until 7:30, yet by that time on a summer Friday night most places to have an enjoyable meal are busy, meaning an hour wait for a table. Eating at home would be even worse, besides the hour and a half to get food on the table, I have to eat alone. There is nothing heart crushing as eating alone on Shabbat, particularly as you know the reason is that a whole lot of other people are happily eating with family.

But that busy schedule had meant, particularly on Fridays, I’ve had to cut out lunch. I’m left with a very hard decision, to try to make services, and do my best to get through massive Friday traffic to get to services, hopefully in time for the Amidah if I’m lucky then eat late. In this option, I’m forced to fast all of Friday, and then eat after services. It would mean McDonald’s filet of fish sandwiches for my Erev Shabbat dinner way too often this summer. Not exactly enjoying the welcoming of the Sabbath bride, to say the least. My other option, the one which I have chosen, is not to go to services, to find somewhere I can go to dinner, and try for one of the few hours in my life I get to actually enjoy the world, have a nice dinner after all that running around, but even that, due to that heavy schedule is late, and I only enjoy it slightly more than the other option.

I’m too tired to write any more this week. I shouldn’t have written anything, but this too is one of those task things, and none of the old pieces fit anymore. Shabbat is supposed to be for rejuvenation, but this summer it has been so stressful it has contributed to my exhaustion instead.

Hope yours is a good one.