Why Midian? For that matter why in this story did we need any of this middle part of Moses being a shepherd? Wouldn’t it have been simpler to stumble around a little and end up at Sinai and the burning bush? Last week, I wrote about Joseph getting away, about leaving behind that which impedes our identity and our development, which very well may have been Jacob.
This week we start the book of Exodus and are introduced to the setup for the rest of the Torah. A Pharaoh who does not know Joseph arises and appealing to national security has the Israelites enslaved. Things get worse. Pharaoh has the midwives try to kill all the newborn boys but they do not heed him. In response Pharaoh then decides to kill all male newborns by drowning, though one baby escapes this by being sent down the river, ending up living in the palace, until he murders an Egyptian taskmaster. The slave who this guy saves rewards him by ratting him out. To escape Pharaoh’s anger, this man flees to Midian where he finds a bride, becomes a shepherd and has a rather interesting conversation with a burning bush. This man is of course Moses. And this week is really his story.
After a time, which Midrash tells us is forty years away from Egypt, Moses returns with God’s marching orders. He’s not happy about it to be certain. At the bush, he repeatedly tries to get out of this task of returning:
11. And Moses said to God, Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the people of Israel out of Egypt? [Exodus 3]
1. And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor listen to my voice; for they will say, The Lord has not appeared to you. [Exodus 4]
10. And Moses said to the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither yesterday nor the day before, nor since you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. [Exodus 4]
13. And he said, O my Lord, send, I beseech you, by the hand of him whom you will send. [Exodus 4]
Moses tries everything to get out of this. Of course he has reason, Egypt is a painful place for him as there is a death penalty against him. God has to assure him that he does not have to worry about that.
Coming back this week from Disney World, I’ve been thinking about return. I’ve been thinking of return from the place I was able to acknowledge a part of me I rarely am able to do to that extent. The young kid came out and played. Several times I’ve written about me trying to conquer fear in that place, riding roller coasters and thrill rides I was afraid of. This year was different. I just had fun, and played like a kid. A lot of what had been problematic or painful in 2008 washed off in this place. Returning, I was fresh once again, able to handle the situations that are put in front of me. Like Moses in the portion, I’ll admit to some preliminary stumbling, but the energy, creativity and enthusiasm a little kid is all there, ready for my use.
For the last few months, I’ve been reconciling the two most painful experiences in my life. The first experience imprisoned the young kid inside of me who enjoyed Disney so much, hiding much of him from me. The second, which happened in my last year of college, was a repeat of the first only worse – because he was so locked away, the boy inside could not warn me, and I ended up in a very bad situation. What made that situation worse was I never was able to recover. Though I’m pretty sure it was not intentionally against me, my support system of my college friends was ripped away from me in a cause where my recovery meant I was against their cause. Like Moses I fled. One hour after graduation, I was on the road, away from that place.
Twenty years later, I’ve virtually returned. Though I never originally intended it, Via the Internet and Social networking, I’ve re-connected with many people from that time, some of them very special and dear to my heart now. As I thought of it, I realized I changed.
The events in out lives are sometimes extraordinary. Sometimes the turns they take are so bizarre as to only be miracles. The Midrash relates of the odd wording of Yitro’s daughters that an Egyptian saved them from the Shepherds at the well:
An alternative explanation of AN EGYPTIAN: Moses can be compared to one bitten by a lizard, who ran to place his feet in the water. When he put them in the river, he observed that a small child was drowning; so he stretched out his hand and saved him. Thereupon the child said: ‘Had it not been for you, I would already have perished.’ To which the man replied: ‘Not I have saved you, but the lizard who bit me and from which I escaped, he saved you.’ Thus the daughters of Jethro greeted Moses: ' Thanks for saving us from the hand of the shepherds.’ Moses replied: ‘The Egyptian whom I slew, he delivered you.’ They therefore said to their father AN EGYPTIAN meaning that the Egyptian whom this man slew caused him to come to us. [Exodus Rabbah I:32]
The chain of causality is so bizarre as to be inexplicable but by the word miracle. Moses ends up at a place where he was content to live, have Children and have the seemingly humble Job as a shepherd. Yet, as the Midrash explains, No role is better to prepare one for leadership, comparing David to Moses. Despite his objections, Moses was ready to return, and then bring the Israelites back from the land of Egypt. The experiences of our lives lead us down a path, and God has helped us set that path, even when we don't realize it.
There is even a midrash that the burning bush was burning quite a while, but only when Moses was ready to see it did things happen. Sometimes we need to go away for a while to return a different person, to do something special. In the short term, This might be a vacation. In the long term long lost friends might enter your life in ways you never imagined.
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