Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19
This week, we have a whole bunch of rules. A lot of them have to do with mixing war, sex and marriage. It includes mixing other things such as wool and linen, donkeys and cows, growing plums on a peach tree and cross-dressing. It discusses rebellious children, wearing tallit, not charging interest, avoiding prostitution, and keeping your vows to the Lord. It discusses theft, and what to do for the poor. Yet it begins with a rather interesting passage:
10. When you go forth to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God has delivered them into your hands, and you have taken them captive, 11. And see among the captives a beautiful woman, and desire her, that you would have her as your wife; 12. Then you shall bring her home to your house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; 13. And she shall take off the garment of her captivity, and shall remain in your house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month; and after that you shall go in to her, and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. 14. And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall let her go where she will; but you shall not sell her at all for money, you shall not treat her as a slave, because you have humbled her.
Essentially, it is about female captive and how they are to be treated. Yet, instead of taking a hard line, it compromises instead. Instead of banning sexual contact with captive prisoners, Moses mandates a thirty day waiting period, supposedly for mourning of her parents, yet it is not clear that they have both died, and if set free, she could return to them. She must have one of the sexiest parts of Middle Eastern female forms removed: her hair. By thirty days, it certainly has not grown to a length that would be considered sexy yet.
One issue I noted reading this is that it is Moses who says this. We never get a "and HASHEM said to Moses the following:” type of Mitzvot. Only Moses says this one, though we assume he got it from God on Sinai. Yet, it’s interesting that in the biblical story this issue is a hot topic among the people. In Joshua 3:17 we read
17. And the priests who carried the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of the Jordan, and all of Israel passed over on dry ground, until all the people (Goi) had passed over the Jordan.
Who were these non Jews who crossed over the Jordan? We need to back to the book of Numbers to get one answer. Time wise this probably happed only a few days or weeks from the time Of Moses’ speeches recording in Deuteronomy. In Numbers 25 we read:
1 While Israel was staying at Shittim, the people profaned themselves by whoring with the Moabite women, 2 who invited the people to the sacrifices for their god. The people partook of them and worshiped that god. 3 Thus Israel attached itself to Baal-peor, and the Lord was incensed with Israel.
Later we read in Numbers 31
13 Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the chieftains of the community came out to meet them outside the camp. 14 Moses became angry with the commanders of the army, the officers of thousands and the officers of hundreds, who had come back from the military campaign. 15 Moses said to them, "You have spared every female! 16 Yet they are the very ones who, at the bidding of Balaam, induced the Israelites to trespass against the Lord in the matter of Peor, so that the Lord's community was struck by the plague. 17 Now, therefore, slay every male among the children, and slay also every woman who has known a man carnally; 18 but spare every young woman who has not had carnal relations with a man.
The virgins who survive the slaughter are the first application of this mitzvah in Deuteronomy. Since we know the people mourned 30 days for Moses (Deut. 34:8) it is possible to marry these women, but yet, they might be the ones described as Goy, gentiles in Joshua.
Those captive tell us something, but it is the women slaughtered at the command of Moses who interest me more in terms of this rule. Moses was bewildered and angry that the soldiers spared the exact people that were to blame for the whole Baal-Peor mess: the women who seduced them. The men, with the exception of Balaam and Balak, never raised a finger against the Israelites. So the question arises what made them spare the lives of the offenders and kill the innocent?
The answer is Seduction. The Rabbis note an interesting thing about the Peor incident. The word vayitzamed, attached is used to describe the Israelite men in Numbers 25:3, but could also be translated as addicted, or harnessed. Even when told to destroy their habit completely they couldn’t, because of their addiction, of being in the thrall of these women.
The rabbis go further and describe this seduction. To summarize a rather long passage, the women start by selling wares in markets, then after selling a new garment, ask for the man to enter and have a little to eat, all the while acting sexy and talking of common ancestry. After the meal, the text continues:
Once the Israelite solicited her she would say to him: ‘I will not listen to you until you slaughter this animal to Peor and bow down to the idol.’ He would object: ‘I will not bow down to idols!’ She would answer him: ' You will only appear as though you were uncovering yourself! ‘And so he would be led astray after her and do as he was bidden. [Numbers R. XX: 23]
What the Midianite women were saying is that they only have to look like they are going to the bathroom, to satisfy their requirement. This sounded reasonable enough for the men to comply. And every time they did comply, they did bow down to the Idol, until they bowed down to the Peor of their own volition, because they could think of no other way.
This summer, I have been very interested in the concepts of seduction, so this story from the midrash resonates much of what I learned over the summer. I talked about pick up artists back in July, but that was part of a larger story. For a couple of months, there has been a question on my mind. How do people seduce not just one person, but whole groups, and not just for sex but for mindless obedience? How often does this happen? How do we stop such things from happening? Much of the summer was a meditation on the question, and much of the fall will be as well, as part of a final exam on the spread of the early Hasidic movement and other movements in 18th century Poland. One book I read on the subject which opened up my eyes far more than I expected was Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini. Cialdini a social psychologist and professor at Arizona State University realized he was very gullible and decide to find out if it was just him or was the deck stack against him. He found that there were six “weapons of influence” that could be used to make people do things they might otherwise not do on their own. His goal in writing the book was to document all of these six, how compliance professional use them, and give a way of resisting them. But tellingly, it is rarely called a psychology book, but a business and marketing book; the textbook version is in its fourth edition.
I’ve read the Midrash of the Midianite women seducing the Israelite men many times. After reading Influence I’ve realized this is an example of many of these weapons. Even more so I’ve begun to see where Cialdini is right, that these weapons are all around us bombarding us constantly. It is not the pickup artist we need to watch, it’s trying to apply compliance control in many ways, from our taste in soft drinks to charity fundraising. One simple example of compliance in synagogues is whether we sit or stand at different parts of the service. Depending on the minhag, synagogues vary. People decide this by one of two of the weapons: through compliance with authority when the rabbi says “please rise” or “you may be seated.” Those little waves of the hands they do indicate the same. Yet when the rabbi forgets, we also rely on social context, what everyone else is doing -- on groupthink. It is interesting to watch events like bar mitzvahs and wedding when the local community is less people than the people attending the event, and there is not a majority social context either. There is total confusion when to sit or stand if the rabbi doesn’t say anything. Whether we sit or stand is so harmless by itself however, we don’t notice other things happening as well. Some of the regulars of the congregation, who consistently do things one way, invariably get upset about everyone not doing it right. A series of harmless events build on the consistency of other events can convince us to do things that may not be so harmless, or at least not reasonable. Lubabvitch Habad uses the weapon of consistency to bring secular Jews back into observance. First offering to shake a lulav or giving away Shabbat of Hanukkah candles, Lubabvitch Habad builds on this to tefillin, tzitzit and other observances, eventually bringing otherwise secular people entirely into Orthodoxy. Yet this same weapon has backfired on the movement in one case, in the respect of a teacher. Some, but definitely not all of Habad, slowly but so consistently built up there respect for their last Rebbe, it led them to believe he was the messiah. Because of the weapon of consistency, this splinter group since the Rebbe’s death, needs to claim Christian themes of the idea of a resurrected messiah, much to the criticism of other Jews.
With all this, there were two common threads in Cialdini’s book. The first was that people think they are making a rational decision when subjected to one of the six weapons, even when they are not. Secondly, the best defense is time to think about the transaction and strip it of its attractive trappings. This is what the Deuteronomy passage this week is referring to. Seduction and influence are powerful weapons, so powerful Balaam used them more powerfully than even his magical abilities. But looking at the rabbinic text of that seduction, consistency was used to bring the Israelites into submission and addiction, yet it was made through what seemed like quick rational decisions. The women were quickly upping the “buying temperature” Once they got one sacrifice out of the men it was all over and they were hooked. Only when there was time to reflect could the men see the whole story -- and resist.
In modern society, most of us will not be in the situation of attacking an enemy and trying not to rape their women. But the idea of seduction is true in so many ways, we move so fast we are more susceptible to falling for an irrational idea, believing it was totally rational. Be it Department Stores, Politicians, or the news media, everywhere we turn someone is trying to obtain our compliance to their agenda. This passage tells us there is only one solution: strip it of its attractiveness and take some time before you make a decision.
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