Parshat Beshallah 5768: Serious thrill issues Dude!

This week, we start with the Israelites leaving Egypt going the long way, so the Israelites don’t meet the Philistines and get discouraged by war. Instead, they get themselves sandwiched between Pharaoh’s whole army and the Red Sea, only to have a miracle save them. On the other side of the Red Sea, the people, and in a rare occurrence in biblical text, even the women led by Miriam, dance in joy. They sing that God is good, in their words mi chamocha, “who is like you?” From there, the people complain about the water and food, when miracles save the day, including the incredible food substance Manna. God also introduces Shabbat observance by commanding that a double portion of manna be taken on the six day, as he doesn’t cook on Shabbos. To end the portion, we are introduced to Joshua, who repels an Amelakite attack with the help of God, Moses and two very tired arms.

Last week, during my vacation in Disney world, on about my fourth ride on Test Track while turning a very tight curve at 64.8 MPH I had an odd thought. A man who only five years ago was terrified to get on this ride is riding it repeatedly. In the past, getting on thrill rides was merely an exercise in fear, seeing if I can get over my fear of such rides. Now, however they are actually fun and I’d do them over and over again. Screaming along the outside of the building, I thought: What makes such things fun?

While this may not seem to have a connection to this week’s portion, the answer to that question explains a lot of what happens through the portion of the people’s flip flopping between rejoicing and fear.

10. And when Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were very afraid; and the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. 11. And they said to Moses, because there were no graves in Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt? 12. Is not this the word that we did tell you in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness. [Ex 14:10-12]

1. Then sang Moses and the people of Israel this song to the Lord, and spoke, saying, I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider has he thrown into the sea…20. And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a tambourine in her hand; and all the women went out after her with tambourines, dancing. [Exodus 15]

2. (K) And the whole congregation of the people of Israel murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness; 3. And the people of Israel said to them, Would to God we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots, and when we did eat bread to the full; for you have brought us forth into this wilderness, to kill this whole assembly with hunger.[16:2-3]

First they leave, and then are afraid of death by Pharaoh’s chariots. The splitting of the Red Sea, and its subsequent closing, leads to big celebration. Then a few days later they are grumbling about water, only to have that relieved, then a few weeks later they are grumbling about food, only to be relieved with manna. The last part of the portion has the curious battle with Amalek which goes one way then another, depending if Moses’ hands are up in the air or not.

Over and over we have fear and resolution of that fear. As I’ve written before, every time I go to Disney World, I’m fascinated by fear. Most don’t think of amusement parks this way, but they are a laboratory of fear. It is here that some of our most hard-wired fears are exploited, and many people come here exactly for that reason. Somewhere deep in our most primitive brain, we have been programmed to react to falling, being in the dark, being flung from a tree or of something thrown at us. Our physiology changes to react to this event. When the crisis is resolved, we have this euphoric relief. Now imagine having all of that thrown at you within seconds of each other, and each time there is almost instantaneous relief. Essentially you end up with a relief as you hit a new obstacle, cumulatively building to a continuous and joyous thrill. Your fear of dying is around every corner, and when you don’t you become a very happy puppy. You become so happy you need to ride again just to get the same feel.

From the crossing of the Sea until Moses strikes the rock in the Book of Numbers, we get a cycle of this type of behavior from the people. People get afraid for their lives then start whining until Moses has to bail them out by interceding with God. It is clear from the episode of the spies this is a generational thing, and the generation that continually pulls this kind of stunt is not the one that enters the land. Interestingly, the last time people whine, we are told Moses too will not enter the land. For the first time we get a new idea, Moses won’t be there to intercede in the new land –it’s up to the people. At that point, they change.

There are different ways of having a thrill addiction. One is when you have someone in your life who keeps bailing you out of situations, not only are you relieved, but there’s even a psychological high, a thrill, one people can get addicted to. Watching little kids one can see this. Some kids invent small crises, such as needing that princess outfit or pirate sword, to get their parents to save them. That the toy is quickly ignored once bought underlines it was the crisis, not the object that was the issue.

In Torah from Exodus 14 through Numbers 20 we have the Israelites whining like such five year olds. Yet in that same text, there are people who somehow act differently, and do the courageous thing. Joshua and Caleb definitely fit in this category. I would argue Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu do in martyrdom. But there is one character mentioned the Rabbis ascribe courage to more than any of these: Nahshon ben Amminadab.

Each tribe was unwilling to be the first to enter the sea. Then sprang forward Nahshon the son of Amminadab and descended first into the sea…At that time Moses was engaged for a long while in prayer; so the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, ‘My beloved ones are drowning in the sea and thou prolongest prayer before Me!’ He spake before Him, ‘Lord of the Universe, what is there in my power to do?’ He replied to him, Speak unto the children of Israel that they go forward. And lift thou up thy rod, and stretch out thy hand etc. [Sotah 37a]

It was because of Nahshon’s actions that the sea split. My reason for being so interested in fear at Disney is not just about amusement rides. It’s a metaphor for something more. How do I, or anyone for that matter deal with fear? In our world there are far more complex mental fears that the basic physical fear of falling to our deaths. Social anxieties abound. For many, the fear of asking someone out on a date or of speaking in public is more terrifying than falling off a roof.

Nahshon showed courage and faith. That is why his otherwise obscure story becomes one of those rabbinic commentaries, like Abram smashing the idols, so beloved to be virtually part of the biblical story. Was his courage merely suppressing fear? I don’t think so. Why is it so many people, including me, seem to fail at being courageous? They try suppressing fear, and fear bounces back at them even stronger than before. Nahshon felt his fear, but not as fear but as thrill, and thus transformed it into a courageous act. Because of his perfect faith in God, Nahshon transforms his fear of drowning into the act the saves the people.

Nahshon felt thrill one way. The whiny Israelites before Moses struck the rock felt it another way. Yet I believe both enjoyed the experience. Like the party after the crossing of the sea, the people enjoyed it so much, they intentionally felt helpless so that they could feel it again. Nahshon on the other hand took control of his fear and changed it into thrill, which came out as courage. We can do either. Yet the way of the former Egyptian slaves condemns us to slavery. The way of Nahshon, turning our fear into something more powerful, opens the way to freedom.