Parshat Hukkat 5768: Success Begins with Endings

In the book of Numbers, translated literally from the Hebrew B’midbar as In the Wilderness, we’ve watched a journey from Sinai to the Promised Land of Israel. I’ve spent this round of Shlomo’s Drash looking at this book as though the people are not individuals, but a collective, one that makes up our own mind and soul. The Promised Land in that view is this thing called success. For the story of B’midbar, success is a bunch of whiny slaves entering an abundant land where they are free from slavery, one where they can worship God. We began that trip by the simple act of looking up so we can see in front of us and show our commitment to getting to the Promised Land.

Yet as we’ve seen, there has been resistance. Getting to the Promised Land is not easy, because it requires change. Resistance takes many forms, from our friends and family wanting us to be our old selves, to intense cravings. We’ve seen fear, lack of confidence and rebellious self-sabotage slow down the journey. The cry of resistance has been the same each time: let us go back to Egypt, let us go back to the way things used to be. Each time, our seemingly comfortable old selves wants to go back even though it is oppressive slavery. The only way forward was elimination of the resistance. In the biblical text often this has been symbolized by the death of individuals like Korach, Dathan and Abiram. Some have been by attrition. The forty years in the wilderness was such elimination.

This week, things really begin to change. Spanning the forty years in the wilderness, we start with the ordinances regarding the red heifer. Miriam dies and then the water disappears, which causes the people to complain. Moses is instructed to speak to a rock and water will come out, but he yells at the people and strikes the rock instead. For that, he will not enter the Promised Land. The Israelites are on the move, when very politely asking for permission to cross the land of Edom. They are told very rudely if they do, they will be attacked. So they start going the long way. After this, God tells Aaron to ascend mount Hor, where he dies and Eleazar his son becomes High priest. Then a Canaanite king attacks and takes hostages. The Israelite response is to raze the city involved to the ground. Then after more grumbling about all this moving around, there's a plague of snakes. Yet the next time they look for water, the leaders, not Moses digs the well. When they get to the land of the Amorites, they once again politely request of King Sihon to cross the land, promising to keep on the king's road and not damage anything. Deuteronomy tells us Moses even opened the door for a hefty profit by offering compensation for any food set at whatever price the Amorites want. Sihon, not understanding the concept of "tourist rates,” decides to attack the wandering tribes. That turns out to be a big mistake. Sihon and his people are totally annihilated by Israelite troops, and all of the Amorite land taken. Sihon's neighbor, King Og of Bashan attacks without any provocation, only to meet the same fate as Sihon.

Hukkat presents us with a transition. We still hear grumbling. First after the death of Miriam over water, and then in the middle of all the movement north once again concerning food. Both times we hear the same chorus about Egypt, yet these two times there are missing elements: nobody is proposing to go back to Egypt. Things are different. In this portion, we also read of Israelite chieftains who dig their own well, and an Israelite army who barely blinks and destroys whole nations, a far cry from the whimpering spies of Shlach Lecha. By the end of Hukkat, this is a far different people than the beginning of our story of B’midbar. Success is within reach, and the first signs of such success has begun.

At the same time, we lose three major characters before we get to the Promised Land. Both Miriam and Aaron die in the wilderness, and Moses is told he isn’t going to make it in either. Many commentators have asked why these three had to die before the Promised Land. One answer extends the literal answer: Moses messed up at the well of Meribah. Just after Miriam’s death the water disappears. The people once again complain:

3. And the people quarreled with Moses, and spoke, saying, Would God that we had died when our brothers died before the Lord! 4. And why have you brought up the congregation of the Lord into this wilderness, that we and our cattle should die there? 5. And why have you made us come out of Egypt, to bring us in to this evil place? This is no place of seed, or of figs, or of vines, or of pomegranates; nor is there any water to drink. [Numbers 20]

Moses and Aaron get instructions from God on how to handle this. Moses, with his staff in hand, is to speak to a rock and water will flow out of it. But all doesn’t go according to plan:

10. And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said to them, Hear now, you rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? 11. And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he struck the rock twice; and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also. 12. And the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, Because you did not believe me to sanctify me in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.[Numbers 20]

Moses not following directions is the direct cause of his and Aaron’s never crossing the Jordan. This is not the first time water came out of a rock. Shortly after leaving Egypt there was a similar incident:

3. And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Why have you brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst? 4. And Moses cried to the Lord, saying, What shall I do to this people? They are almost ready to stone me. 5. And the Lord said to Moses, Go on before the people, and take with you of the elders of Israel; and your rod, with which you struck the river, take in your hand, and go. 6. Behold, I will stand before you there upon the rock in Horeb; and you shall strike the rock, and water shall come out of it, that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel. [Exodus 17]

What Moses did in the book of Numbers was follow forty year old directions, not the latest set. Note the people’s rhetoric seemingly remains the same about dying in the wilderness, but in Exodus they are on the edge of rebellion, and do not believe in either God or Moses. In Numbers, years later, there is a significant change. While they talk of Egypt they also talk of wanting their fate to be dying before the Lord, not returning to Egypt. While in Exodus there was no belief, there is belief here. They murmur against Moses in Exodus, yet they quarrel directly with him in Numbers.

What we are seeing here is indeed growth on the part of the people. There is no talk of Egypt as a land of milk and honey, like Dathan and Abiram did. The people’s complaining that there are no Vines figs or pomegranates is not a reference to Egypt, but instead to Israel. Numbers 13:23 tells us that grapevines figs and pomegranates were what the spies brought back to the camp. Deuteronomy 8:8 mentions the same three in terms of the Promised Land as well. No longer is their complaint that they want to go back to Egypt, but instead, their complaint is “When are we going to get there?”

If they are growing, why did they mention Egypt at all? For the same reason Moses struck the rock. Over time we get used to doing things one way, we have an internal script to follow. In a positive sense such scripts saves us time from having to think out a reaction. But in the negative it can also be inappropriate to the situation. We can get stuck in the script. It’s a lot like the boy who continues to breastfeed from his mother even when he’s thirteen years old. Not only is that inappropriate, it’s perverse. Both the provider and the receiver of the milk got stuck in one type of behavior, and never realized it really needed change. While that example is extreme, people in relationships, be they parents and children or husbands and wives, often fall into patterns of knowing how to push buttons to get certain automatic behaviors. The people knew how to push Moses’ buttons. If you want something, mention Egypt and Moses goes into action. What they forgot was the entirety of the script. Egypt was always mentioned when a resistance was breaking out in the camp, and Moses or God would have to stamp it out. Even when it wasn’t a real rebellion, Moses’ script thought it was, so he did the same thing the last time such a thing happened, striking the rock, and not speaking to it.

If you’ve ever been in the Negev, or in Transjordan you know it is not milk that is the stuff of life, but water. Water is preciously rare in the world the people wandered in. In my recent trip to Israel and Jordan I learned how the Nabatean empire, with its capital in Petra, became massively wealthy by monopolizing all the wells in the area, thus forcing traders to stop there, buy water supplies and trade with others, all at a hefty tax profit for the Nabateans. You can’t survive without water, the same way an infant can’t survive without milk.

Most rabbinic opinion describes Miriam, Moses and Aaron as support systems for the people:

Three good leaders had arisen for Israel, namely. Moses, Aaron and Miriam, and for their sake three good things were conferred [upon Israel], namely, the Well, the Pillar of Cloud and the Manna; the Well, for the merit of Miriam; the Pillar of Cloud for the merit of Aaron; the Manna for the merit of Moses. When Miriam died the well disappeared, as it is said, And Miriam died there, and immediately follows [the verse], And there was no water for the congregation; [Ta’anit 9a, cf. Numbers Rabbah I:2]

In the wilderness, the providing of water to the people was due to the merit of Miriam. Even in her name is the word for water: MYM. When she died the water stopped according to the Sages. The reason the verses about each are so close is that her death stopped the miraculous providing of water. Conversely, as long as she was alive the water would flow. Thinking in those terms we begin to see that Hukkat is a weaning. When the people enter than land they will have to get their own food and water, they can no longer depend on a well of Miriam for water or Moses’ Manna for food. To do so even before the journey is done holds them back from their full potential as does a pre-teen who only drinks from his mother’s breast. The support system that got them to success on the East bank of the Jordan now must make way for new support systems when they cross that river.

Moses, Aaron, and Miriam represent the support system that got the people through the wilderness to the banks of the land. As they proceeded towards the land, their usefulness actually wanes. It may even be a form of resistance itself. The scripts that were run at the beginning of the journey don’t work now, even tripping one up. God prohibiting Moses from entering the land was because Moses could not change to fit a new role within the land. He was still reacting to rebellions, even when it may be a legitimate complaint of dehydration. Like Miriam’s death, the people needed to be weaned from Manna as well as water. Manna fell on Moses’ merit, and as long as he was alive it would have fallen. As long there was free food around, no one would have worked the fertile land to cultivate all those figs, grapes and pomegranates.

Changing the support system is never easy. Often our support systems, both internal and external are beloved parts of our lives. Externally it may be parents, family and friends. Internally, it may be scripts so successful, we can’t believe they’ve stopped working. Yet, it must change for continued growth.

In B’midbar, it is not an easy transition. But it happens. We see that success in each of the military engagements, how the strength of the people increases. After Miriam dies and the incident with water, they plan to cross into Edomite territory. Unlike previous engagements, they do not cower or get defeated. They stand their ground until they are outnumbered, then politely and quietly walk around Edom. After Aaron dies and another support system is replaced with Eleazar, Arad the Canaanite attacks and takes hostages, only to be wiped from the face of the earth. After digging their own wells for the first time, they encounter Sihon, and have the exact setup as Edom. This time however the outcome is very different – Sihon’s nation of Amorites is wiped out. Og of Bashan attacks, only to also lose his life, people and land. As the people have to depend on themselves more, their success grows – and they move closer to the final destination of the Promised Land.

Early indicators of success can still be problematic. Next week, with Midian and Moab, we’ll look at what hazards there are when you finally figure out how successful you can be.

Parshat B’haalotecha 5768: Resistance

Last week the theme was change, but what happens when you do change?

If you read much of the self-help literature out there high self esteem and a commitment to change should magically change your life. If all you need is to have high self esteem and be committed to your goals, then you too can be rich, successful and keep to a healthy diet. This week in the Torah, we run into several situations which point to why most people’s experiences are very different than this. They are the stories which point to resistance to change. Probably the incident most known from this portion shows us one kind of resistance.

1. And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Kushite woman whom he had married; for he had married a Kushite woman. 2. And they said, Has the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses? Has he not spoken also by us? And the Lord heard it. [Numbers 12]

Miriam’s slander and leprosy is as an issue of Moses ignoring his wife by the Sages. Yet most don’t understand the reason for Moses to stay away from his wife. According to the Talmud, this was one of “Three things that Moses did of his own understanding, and the Holy One, blessed be He, gave His approval”. [Shabbat 87a] Moses made up mitzvot without God’s permission, yet God approved. Many are familiar with the story of the revelation at Sinai, when all the people heard God. There is some preparation before hand:

15. And he said to the people, Be ready by the third day; do not come near a woman. 16. And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the sound of a shofar exceedingly loud; so that all the people who were in the camp trembled. [Exodus 19:15-16]

After Sinai, Moses reasoned that he might have to speak to God in this manner at any time. God notes in rebuking Aaron and Miriam that Moses kept the level of prophecy he had at Sinai:

6. And he said, Hear now my words; If there is a prophet among you, I the Lord will make myself known to him in a vision, and will speak to him in a dream. 7. Not so with my servant Moses, for he is the trusted one in all my house. 8. With him I speak mouth to mouth, manifestly, and not in dark speech; and he behold the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? [Numbers 12:6-8]

After Sinai, only Moses is granted the direct revelation that everyone experienced that day. Miriam and Aaron are not granted this. Moses thought he had to maintain the level of preparation all the people did before the Revelation at Sinai at all times. In order to do so he continually avoided his wife. [Shabbat 87a] His avoidance did not sit well with Miriam and Aaron, who believed that the marital obligations of Moses towards his wife were critical, and thus their words against him.

Moses changed on Sinai, and became a unique person who had a unique mission. The expectations of the normal Israelite did not apply to him, but the expectations of family who knew him before Sinai was the same. Miriam didn’t understand the difference in Moses, and so expecting him to be the same Moses she knew since his birth, criticized her little brother. One immense source of resistance to personal change comes from our family, friends, and those we are closely associated with. With change in ourselves there is a required change in those around us, who may not want that change. They might be comfortable with the way things are, or are afraid of how that change might change them. But most times, one does not even see the change in the person changing and continues to treat that person just like they always did. Miriam still sees her little brother, not the only man in history who talks to God face to face, or the only man until the destruction of the temple to author halakah. When Moses doesn’t act like her little brother, she gets upset.

All we hear is about Moses in response to Miriam’s criticisms “Now the man Moses was very humble, more than any other men which were upon the face of the earth.” [Numbers 12:3] We do not hear a response, because he didn’t know what to say. He loves his siblings but doesn’t want to hurt them, and anything he could say would do so, and indeed break into argument. Like many people in this situation, he may fear he will lose support from his family in what he is trying to do. Moses, however, has the intercession of God. Generally that doesn’t happen, and instead we are in a bad spot, unable to respond to the criticism of our changing for the better, because it seemingly makes things worse for those close to us, and subsequently for us. We can hope for understanding, but that may not be there. The only response for many, so as to not to have an ugly situation with those they love is to buckle under, and not change. The risk of losing what one already has outweighs the reward if one does change. Such people never make it to their personal promised land so they don’t hurt those who don’t want them to undertake the journey, and so those people do not abandon them. Yet, the best we can do is getting them away from us, just as Miriam spends time away from Moses with her bout of Leprosy.

Such is external resistance, often slowing things down. Yet there is another resistance that can be truly fatal to one’s personal journey across the wilderness. That is the internal resistance to change. We read about such resistance in the cravings of the people for something other than their diet of manna.

4. And the mixed multitude that was among them had a strong craving; and the people of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us meat to eat? 5. We remember the fish, which we ate in Egypt for nothing; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlic; 6. But now our soul is dried away; there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes. [Numbers 11:4-6]

As the Torah points out, they shouldn’t be complaining

7. Now the manna was as coriander seed, and its color as the color of bdellium. 8. And the people went about, and gathered it, and ground it in mills, or beat it in a mortar, and baked it in pans, and made cakes of it; and the taste of it was like the taste of fresh oil. 9. And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it. [Numbers 11:7-9]

Manna was the food granted the last time the people complained about not having anything to eat after crossing the Red Sea. This time as well, these people's request is granted but at a high cost:

31. And there went forth a wind from the Lord, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp, about a day’s journey on this side, and about a day’s journey on the other side, around the camp, and as it were two cubits high upon the face of the earth. 32. And the people stood up all that day, and all that night, and all the next day, and they gathered the quails; he who least gathered gathered ten homers; and they spread them all abroad for themselves around the camp. 33. And while the meat was yet between their teeth, before it was chewed, the anger of the Lord was kindled against the people, and the Lord struck the people with a very great plague. 34. And he called the name of that place Kibroth-Hattaavah; because there they buried the people who had the craving. [Numbers 11:31-33]

To give into your internal resistance is death to the whole venture. Of all the things to use as a way of describing internal resistance, nothing is better than food. This week, when I got on the scale for the first time in a month, I read a number I was not pleased with: 206. That same scale read 194 last year at this time, and 191 the year before. What happened? The answer is simple. I gave into cravings. Be it a hot fudge brownie sundae, sweet potato chips, or virtually anything I’d eat at McDonald’s, what I eat got the best of me. Resistance to my healthy diet is everywhere.

Cravings will do it to you almost any time. Playing with my e-mail while I’m supposed to be doing something else is another craving that gets me. All of it is resistance to what really matters. But unlike the external resistance of others this is more insidious – it is the yetzer ha-ra, our evil inclination. As the rabbis note when it entices, it is as frail as a spider web, but with time it becomes as strong as cart ropes [Sukkah 52a]. One ice cream sundae two years ago leads to me continually breaking my diet. “This is the last one” is a common reply from the Yetzer Ha-ra when we see something we crave.

Craving does something else too. Cravings increase the value of what we are craving beyond its real value. Note how slaves who probably never got such foods wax nostalgically about the abundant foods of Egypt. One would think by their description, slaves ate like they were at the midnight buffet of a cruise ship all the time, never having to pay the bill. Of course this was illusion. What was truly incredible food stuff, manna, was ignored for this illusion. When we have resistance, we do the same things. With a diet, it’s how delicious that candy bar will be. Yet after eating it, I’m not satisfied. Just one square of that chocolate bar won’t show up on my diet, but how often does eating one square become eating the whole bar, or two or three bars, because there was no satisfaction in just the one square?

Like Miriam remembering a pre-Sinai Moses, the resistance is anchored in the past, to what we once had “We remember the fish, which we ate in Egypt for nothing.” The people cry, “Now our soul is dried away; there is nothing at all” Keeping the present the same as the past is what resistance is all about. What is ahead is bad, according to the yetzer ha-ra, what you already have is good and comfortable, don’t go about changing it. For example my yetzer ha-ra continually comments “I’m familiar and comfortable with being alone and independent, why would I want to mess that up with a relationship?” “Loneliness I might compliant about but can handle. I can’t handle break-ups, betrayals or having someone else running my life” It continues inside of me, stressing the bad parts of growing. Like the manna, It ignores or even denigrates the good. It does not think of the bitterness, and tight places of my personal Egypt, my personal slavery.

The most important lesson of all from the Story in Numbers 11 is that the people who gave into their cravings die instantly. This is not a salmonella outbreak taking a few days to kill – they choke on their food because they give into their cravings so much they do not even chew it, nor look at what they are eating, and thus it kills them. We may not die instantly but our lives can be as one who is dead from giving into resistance, both internal and external. Giving into my own resistance will leave me for dead. I would be a fourteen year old computer geek who truly had no life, isolated from everything and everyone but his Apple II, as obsolete and meaningless as that antique computer. I would be that until the day of my physical death from clogged arteries or some such diet related condition. There is only one way towards life, and that is to change and improve. We cannot go back into slavery nor can we stay still in the wilderness. We can only move forward. We must fight the internal and the external resistance, though it is far from easy. It already has a strong grip on us. But to survive and get to our promised lands, it is a battle we must win.

There is one more type of resistance to take into account. It is the most insidious and the most dangerous. In the story of B’midbar, the wilderness, it kills all 600,000 Israelites but two. It fuels all other resistance, and mutates into even more dangerous forms. In next week’s portion we’ll talk about this danger of all dangers.